Thought of the Day

July 9, 2010

Let’s assume for a moment that when the apocalypse arrives I will have been conveniently napping in a lead-encased underground bank vault and will thus emerged unscathed as the last surviving remnant of mankind.  I’ve given a lot of thought to what will happen next.  Yes, I’ll rummage through some of Manhattan’s used bookstores and make a beeline for the Schwartzman Library (the one with the lions) and pile up some massive stacks of books I’ve always meant to get around to reading.  I’ll have two or three of my old pairs of glasses stashed in a safe place (learned that lesson early: who says kids don’t learn things parked in front of the TV?) and I’ll stockpile a few of those eyeglasses repair kits with the tiny replacement screws, too.  Even before that, though, I’ll head down to the Home Depot on 23rd Street and wheel out their biggest generator, then wheel it back to my place and hook it up to the plasma TV and the multi-region Blu-ray player and (if it’s summer) the air conditioner.  Then I’ll raid all of the few remaining DVD rental stores and brick-and-mortar retailers and the nearest Netflix shipping center (yes, I do know roughly where it’s located; one has to be prepared) and spend the end of the world watching all the movies and TV shows I’d never gotten around to, until the fallout gets me.

At least, that used to be the plan.  But how the heck am I supposed to make it work with – ulp – streaming video?  Huh?


4 Responses to “Thought of the Day”

  1. Amelia Says:

    I laughed out loud. Marvelous writing.

  2. Bert Greene Says:

    Five years ago, I took a direct hit from Hurricane Rita. I did not evacuate. I was the only one in my entire neighborhood who didn’t. After the storm hit, authorities would not let residents back in for many days. Power was totally out for over 100 miles in all directions. Didn’t encounter anyone for days. The first night was particularly eerie, in its quietness and darkness. But, I had a generator, and I cranked it up when nightfall arrived, after a tiring day of cleanup. I turned my television set on, and I put a disc in my dvd-player… and watched two episodes of “Follow That Man” with Ralph Bellamy, courtesy one of Alpha’s cheapie p.d. discs. Perhaps the only nut in the whole dark, empty, devastated county with a tv-set on, and here I was watching 1953-era crimebuster antics.

    Anyway, your little posting reminded me of this.

  3. I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book. ~Groucho Marx

  4. Jeff Flugel Says:

    Great post! I like the way you think…I’ve pondered on just this scenario a time or two and have thought along similar lines. Of course, if there were zombies or triffids or the like, then things could get quite a bit more complicated…

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